Ronita Torcato

Transformers - Dark of the Moon (3D)
Starring  Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, John Turturro,Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson,Frances McDormand,Patrick Dempsey,John Malkovich,  Ken Jeong, Alan Tudyk,Julie White, Kevin Dunn  + voices of Leonard Nimoy & Hugo Weaving

Director: Michael Bay

 
Shia LaBeouf and John Turturro who could easily pass off  for father and son return as sweet Sam Witwicky and secret agent Simmons in the third edition of the toy inspired shapeshifting Transformers.

We hope the kiddie, pre-teen and teenaged audience of this 3D popcorn actioner  will figure out the goings-on  in the  mayhem  that erupts in Chicago following an occurence that threatens a global catastrophe. This pivotal event revolve around the matter of survival contest between the people-friendly Autobots and  the authoritarian Decepticons to find a Cybertronian spacecraft on the Moon.Not long after, the viewer learns that Apollo 11 was far from a space exploration mission, but  a covert operation for gathering intelligence about an UFO that crashed on the moon. Haha! Why do I keep thinking of the Cliff Richard song "Dark Moon"?
Like X Men,  TRANSFORMERS employs actual news footage featuring President Kennedy as well as former astronaut Buzz Aldrin himself to confirm this "fact."
Enter Witwicky who is built in the heroic mould,notwithstanding his insecurities.Naturally, our hero has an nerve wracking  face-off with the Decepticons,  which seems to have been  inspired  by the Old Testament chronicles of  King David. As a shepherd boy, David as those au courant with 1 Samuel Chapter 17 know, takes on Goliath with a slingshot. Witwicky does likewise, felling the monstrous Decepticon in one  fell swoop. Interestingly, the CGI monsters  include a pair inspired by Arnie Schwarznegger's Predator(s).

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley,blonde, breathy voiced and botoxed ( lips which could give Angelina Jolie a complex ) replaces Megan Fox  after the latter was axed 'tis said at producer Steven Spielberg's behest for critiquing director Michael Bay (s)Hitlerian ways.  As with her predecessor, Ms Huntington-Whitely's shapely exteriors are  exploited in the film. When her screen boss  Dylan   (Dempsey) Gould  waxes lyrical over a sleek automobile to Witwicky, the camera slides over Ms Whitely's curvaceous charms.
Whitely's Carly is scripted to behave like a male fantasy and dress like a cocktail waitress in a nine to five office job,  and worse,ignite feelings of inadequacy. Newly employed on a greenhorn's wages (I think) by  John Malkovich, Witwicky is unable to afford the largesse of Gould who showers Carly with expensive toys. 
One need not be a feminist to take umbrage but in other scenes too, the first half of the film to be precise, a goodly number of women have to fend off  lascivious males. (The second half  consists of an unrelenting barrage of  stylized action sequences)
Interestingly, the women are impervious to the lasciviousness. Mercifully, Frances McDormand's National Intelligence Director Charlotte Mearing   is a no- nonsense cougar while Witwicky's mom only appears to be featherbrained, but actually has got it figured out all right. As she sums it succintly, "A happy wife means a happy life." or was it Witwicky Senior who uttered that gem of wisdom? Never mind.

Let it be noted, Carly's no dumb blonde and does her bit to thwart the destruction of planet earth.
Before that happens, the viewer is subjected to a painful toilet scene featuring Ken (The Hangover ) Jeong and Witwicky and some kerfuffle from Gould about secrecy and power  and the necessity to support the winning side, which may not always be the right side, the moral side. Thankfully, Gould gets what he so richly deserves. What about us?